I’m very big. I like being big as other birds get out of my way! And I like being strong too! (That’s another reason to keep out of my way!) And I never miss a trick! (with my wonderful eyesight and hearing!) So you won’t get away with anything… especially as my memory is very good. You could say I am brainy. Though I don’t care what you say. A lot of us birds are brainy – although my ancestors were reptiles (the dinosaurs), but my brain is 20 times bigger than a reptile’s. So, watch out! Keep away! You don’t want me to break one of your arms, do you?
Yesterday I slept on the bank, on one leg, as I always do. But I didn’t sleep well so I tucked my head under my wing and floated off down the river. Good thing too. I can’t smell much, but I saw a pair of eyes gleaming just before I nodded off. Probably a fox. Nasty things. It’s safer for me to sleep on the water. Of course, I can get the better of them… My beak does have built in teeth, but it’s my wings I use as weapon. A nice little flick with my elbow ‘s enough to knock out a fox, or their cousins, the coyote… it’s quite fun… Want to see? No of course you don’t want to see me doing it to you.
Ooh, there’s my partner! And who’s that other one? See his black neck? I am not having him near her. Hear me hiss? Like the sound of that, do you? Well, can you see my wings? Yes, I thought you could. I just want to let that one over there know I won’t stand any nonsense from him… My partner’s mine, and we’re staying together, and I’m not having him come anywhere near. Two’s a party, and three’s a crowd: know what I mean? Bye for now. It’s time for me to go and sit on my eggs. Six of them we’ve got! Me and partner take it in turns. So byee!
Charlotte's Wonderful Stories 